Monthly musings

The other week I was down south working in the country when I ventured out in the late afternoon for a leisurely walk by the Murray River.

Strolling over a wooden bridge that spanned a calm backwater, I was suddenly taken by large, pulsating waves emanating from underneath.

With curiosity piqued, I looked over, only to see a small Eurasian Coot diving beneath the surface with purpose and determination, in search of pondweed to fuel her 4 young chicks.

Notwithstanding the fact that I was totally gobsmacked to witness such springtime activity at the end of autumn (no doubt due to climate change producing such favourable conditions for mating), I couldn’t help but think of the large ripple effect this small bird was creating, and also the famous line from Paul Kelly and Kev Carmody’s song with the same title: From Little Things Big Things Grow.

Mama Coot’s deep dives were making positive waves!

Because this got me thinking about an interview I recently listened to with Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence and expert in the field, who was talking about research at the Yale School of Management on emotions and their contagious effect, rippling from the leader outward.

Goleman mentioned how the leader is usually at the centre of strong emotions, both positive and negative and how these states ripple through the mood and performance of the team, affecting both.

It really begs to question:

• How self-aware we are in relation to knowing how we’re feeling moment to moment and how that feeling is going to shape our thoughts, perceptions and impulses to act;
• How well we can manage our emotions when we are quick to anger, get upset or get anxious;
• how well we can practise empathy by knowing how people think and feel and that we care for them;
• And how effective we are as a communicator in terms of building trust, building rapport and building repair.

Essentially this is emotional intelligence in action.

Whether you’re a leader in an organisation, a parent, a partner, a lover or a friend, the more you can hone these skills, good listening being central to the piece, the more you can create positive ripples in your organisation, in your family, in your relationships and in your community.

Goleman shared the delightful story of how he had caught a bus in New York City one day when the weather was particularly hot and humid, resulting in grumpy passengers, himself included, boarding the bus.

He reported being shocked when the driver warmly welcomed him as he stepped on board and asked him how his day was going.

It so happened that he gave the same welcome to all passengers, offering advice and tips on where to go and what to do, thus transforming the mood and energy of the bus in a magical way.

It turns out this driver had a purpose far greater than driving people on time to their destinations. His purpose was to touch people’s lives by offering a warm smile, a few kind words, a listening ear and a helping hand, inadvertently creating positive ripples in his community.

So do me a favour, look again at the 4 domains of emotional intelligence above, zero in on a domain that you feel you could put some spit and polish on (hint…go for self-awareness if you feel it’s less than average, as it will be tricky to develop strengths in the other domains if it’s lacking), see which one is calling you to action, start small, keep at it, and slowly watch the magic unfold.

Mama Coot knew for sure that with dedication and care, from her little things, big things would grow.

Just know that the same can be true for you.

Till next month, here’s to making positive waves,